The Uncle Reverend Big Mike in his natural habitat
From the Desk of Uncle Reverend Big Mike

Monday, April 26, 2004

Why do you do it, Mike?

Why do you choose to run a discount marriage service in these uncertain times?

That's what they ask me.

And my answer is always the same.

I don't want you and your significant other to be denied matrimonial bliss--and all of the civil, spiritual, and financial benefits that it entails--because of budgetary concerns.

No, I believe that access to cheap, hardly-legal marriages is a right that all human beings deserve. And I am fully committed to offering you a wide range of high-quality, low-cost, secular officiant options.

From the most affordable "basic paper signing," to the lavish ash-spreadings in exotic locales, you're sure to find the package that's right for you.

And friends I have special offer to make to you right here, on this website. Get it soon, because a deal like this is not going to last long. I'm offering one secular wedding and a pair--that's right, TWO!--secular funeral services, for the low, low price of $29.95. You are not going to find a deal like that, on the internet or anywhere else, I can assure you.

So whatever your needs--remember, I do custom packages as well--I can do it...and you're going to get a bargain out of it, too. You have my secular word.


Sealed with a Kiss